Basic Fucking Kindness

lgbt, discrimination, socialization "best thing i've ever heard about labels: as any cat will tell you, putting yourself in a box is completely different from someone else putting you in a box"

self compassion, rest "there is literally nothing in nature that blooms all year long, so do not expect yourself to do so"

vegan, socialization "darren: "why would you want to eat things that look and taste like meat if you're a vegan, why not just eat meat?" karen: "why would you play computer game shooters when you could just go outside and shoot actual people?" darren: "because that would make me a murderer" "

socialization, discrimination, minorities "normalize refusing to debate white guys about why you deserve rights"

gender, labels, society, mental illness, neurodivergency "autism is widely underdiagnosed in girls because women tend to present as quiet and reserved, which is just how women are supposed to be personality disorders are underdiagnosed in men because they tend to present more explosively and involve more narcissistic behaviours, which is just how men are supposed to be"

socialization, feminism "here's the thing: men get sexually assaulted, men get abused, men have toxic gender stereotypes that they are expected to live up to. this is a problem, and i am more than willing to have discussions about this, and talk about what can/should be done to change these things etc, if you bring it up as its own topic. however, if you bring these things up as an attempt to override discussions about women, i will not listen to you. if you really cared about men's issues you'd bring it up at other times, not only when we're discussing women. thats not you caring about men's issues, thats you not wanting to talk about women's issues because you want everything to be about men"

open collective "challenge": say something nice about someone else in the comments (be mindful of triggering stuff), or, if you feel extra daring, try to say something nice about yourself this message will never be "too old to reply to", you are invited to participate regardless of when you see it

trauma, self compassion "as a therapist, lemme just say: almost every trauma survivor i've ever had has at some point said "but i didnt have it as bad as some people" [...] one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care. dont buy into it, because its nonsense. it doesnt matter if someone else had it "worse." every person who experienced a trauma deserves to get the attention and care then need to heal from it"

socialization, relationship, trauma "if you are dating someone who has been subjected to abuse/mistreatment, and you notice them idealizing the hell out of you for treating them w basic respect, dont take the ego boost. tell them that they are always entitled to basic kindness and respect in every relationship"

parenting "if you had a child by choice, you: signed up for"

self harm, behavior "being suicidal doesnt necessarily mean you're holding a gun to your head"

abuse, gaslight "sometimes people pretend you're a bad person so they dont feel guilty about the things they did to you"