Post #424

Self-sabotage becomes problematic only when the death drive is too dominant. Fear of failure, for example, can overpower our ambitions. So we put obstacles in our own path in order to keep the painful reality of our imperfection at bay – not preparing well for those job interviews or public appearances, or behaving erratically. What the psychoanalyst Ronald Fairbairn in 1952 called our ‘internal saboteur’ tries to protect us from shame. But it does so at a high cost, foreclosing the possibility of novel, creative and authentic experiences, perhaps even hope. So we seem to be fighting a double battle: the contemporary world offers readily available opportunities for self-sabotage and it raises our perfectionist expectations, making distraction and addiction more tempting. As well as leading to overwork, the ego ideal makes us less good at our work, too: another downwards spiral. This state of mind is ‘performance wrecking’, says Cohen: ‘you lose conviction and confidence in yourself. The more you’re aware of falling behind, of not quite being at the level you’re supposed to be, the more it does something to your capacity to seamlessly produce.’ https://aeon.co/essays/why-do-i-let-myself-sabotage-my-own-best-laid-plans