Post #842

transcription [1/2] "i think we're kind of starting to get away from this but have y'all noticed how in the vast majority of popular media, sex scenes dont actually tend to involve a lot of talking/fumbling/awkwardness unless its for humor or to indicate that the people having sex are a.) probably wrong for eachother somehow or b.) inexperienced, possibly having sex for the first time? but "good" sex, between people who are experienced and in love etc, is almost always effortlessly athletic and steamy and they somehow telepathically know exactly what to do. im not talking about knowing what their lover enjoys, thats entirely feasible, but they never even have to coordinate what they're doing. theres no "do you want me on top?" or "do you want me to do [x]?" or accidentally getting in each other's way. the overwhelming message that i've always gotten from pop culture is that good sex happens without communication and, more dangerously, that needing to communicate is a sign that you're somehow bad at sex, when in reality thats almost definitely that you're, you know, a considerate partner who actually gives a shit about people being comfortable when they have sex with you [2/2] not only that but like, overwhelmingly sex in media is portrayed as this steamy, well-oiled, SERIOUS machine. like... wheres the fun? pop culture seems to be obsessed with this communication-less pantomime of actual intimacy rather than the reality of intimacy going hand in hand with not only consideration but humour and mutual vulnerability. sex is by nature so awkward and off it NEVER works the way you see in films or on tv. its never seamless and perfect and that is not a BAD THING. you're not "doing it wrong" if you're having problems getting a good rhythm and keep messin' each other up by trying to help you're not doing it wrong if you're laughing and talking and not taking it seriously and additionally, and now this is a complete tangent from the original point here, but you're not doing it wrong if you dont manage to get off or get your partner off sometimes sex is just the action and not the climax and thats COMPLETELY FINE. my partner and i struggled a LOT with this when we first started having sex because we both had terrible guilt when we couldnt reach climax or couldnt get the other off because we felt like that was what the whole point of sex was. media puts a lot of PRESSURE on sex and what it looks like that shouldnt be there and its AWFUL. the focus is just so... wrong"