Post #6629

“I can’t wait until she is 18” TW abuse Today my daughter Z told me that this summer was the worst summer of her life. I agreed with her. Every single day she has walked to the library with me so I could work my full time job until I can pay for home internet and the air condition is a huge plus. She keeps herself busy helping the librarian or she reads but I know it isn’t what she wants to be doing. Z told me she misses her old life back home. She misses “good meals” and being able to get whatever snacks she wants at the grocery store. She misses making her bed. We are still sleeping on glorified dog beds on the floor. She misses riding her bike. She misses our cat who recently passed and I do too. I miss it all too. She then says “ Tim (my ex) didn’t hurt you until after we left and that is why he got mad. If we go back and promise not to leave, can we?”. I never told her about the “accidents” that were happening that made me leave. I had to explain how he hid my epi pen and started using the condoms I was allergic to. I told her about him poisoning my soup. I told her about the money he stole. I'm ashamed to admit that if he was just hurting me I would go back. Everything is so fucking hard and it feels like it’ll take years to rebuild and give my daughter the life she deserves. Except he wasn’t just hurting me, he was after her. I had to tell her that after we left one of his friends told me how he would talk about her. How obsessed he was and how he was waiting until she was 18. Having to answer her questions "why would he like me like that","he is way old", "he knew me when I was a little girl he was like my dad", "I'm not a woman yet like you" was so hard. It was a very mature and emotional conversation. No amount of money would ever make me go back. I'm sharing this as a frustrated vent but also in case there is someone who is being hurt but doesn't want to leave because it feels like you can't. Your kids are going to be mad. It’s going to be so fucking hard, impossible some days. There is nowhere near enough help that you will need. Losing “everything” is devastating. I won't say it gets better because I don't believe it will anytime soon but I do know it won’t get worse. There is nothing worse than living with someone who is hurting you or even worse, hurting your kids. Edited my post so it isn't about her schooling. She is enrolled in school. She is just doing online "e learning" instead of physically going to school. www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1ee3ncl/i_cant_wait_until_she_is_18/source