Post #6659

My husband admitted to a degradation fetish. I feel disgusted with myself. I should have figured it out on my own. It makes sense. When we fought, he would follow me around the house. If I asked for space to calm down, he would follow me. If I went into a room and locked the door behind me, he would pick the lock. To this day, the sound of a door knob jiggling freaks me out. When he stepped into the room, I would start screaming and saying horrible, nasty things to him. Afterwards, I hated myself. I would cry. I would call myself an abuser. And he would comfort me and tell me I’m not an abuser. I would apologize, and he would tell me there’s nothing to forgive. He would laugh when I framed my actions and my words as abusive. He would tell me I was being silly. This continued for years. I finally told him I want a divorce, this isn’t sustainable. I’m not happy with his poor hygiene, his inability to manage his own health or meds, his inability to manage his own finances, his own life. I had been mothering, nagging, and criticizing him for years. He told me he doesn't want a divorce. Why? Why do you want to be with a woman who nags and criticizes you? I asked him that. We should both be eager to exit this shitshow of a marriage. He admitted it turns him on when I degrade him and mother him. He admitted that I’m “hot” when I’m angry. He admitted to watching porn with a "mommy dom" element. It makes sense. After an outburst, he was so loving and intimate and attentive toward me. But when I was happy and in a good mood? It was as if I didn’t exist. I finally understand why I want to crawl out of my own skin whenever I'm near him. I understand why my good moods disappear the moment I pull into the driveway. The version of me that I hate the most is the one that turns him on the most. I have to leave. www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1ep4tcp/my_husband_admitted_to_a_degradation_fetish_i/source