Post #6682

Me and my husband's male couples therapist pointed out that me asking/telling my husband how to support me is just adding another thing to my plate. I love our therapist and my husband does too, but our therapist's understanding of the mental load in our last session genuinely blew me away. We were discussing how my husband could better support me as we are going through a particularly rough life patch and while it's heavy on both of us, I am carrying far more than my husband is. Our therapist was discussing with us how my husband could better support me during this time, what else he might be able to take off my plate, or provide more emotional support, etc. My husband was struggling at identifying something specific and ultimately said that he needed me to tell him what to do, and our therapist pointed out that by me having to direct my husband, providing direction was yet another thing on my plate. To be completely honest, that didn't even occur to me, but our therapist was completely right. My husband took it in stride and agreed, and I deeply appreciated the acknowledgement and recognition of the mental load I carry and the guidance provided to assuage adding to that mental load by our therapist. www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1nlajdk/me_and_my_husbands_male_couples_therapist_pointed/source