Find similar content

My wife texted me this morning and said, “Your great”. I replied, “No, you’re great”. She’s been in a great mood ever since. I should correct her grammar more often. #other@Sickipedia

I told my doctor "I broke my arm in two places" Doctor says "You probably shouldn't go back to those places" #other@Sickipedia

Over 20% of automobile accidents in Northern Ontario are caused by moose. I say don’t let them drive. #other@Sickipedia

I found a book called 'How to solve 50% of your problems'. So I bought 2 of them. #other@Sickipedia

The coffee shop had a sign that said "No WiFi, pretend it's 1973!" So, I paid 10¢ for my coffee and lit a cigarette. #other@Sickipedia

What 11-letter English word is always pronounced incorrectly? Incorrectly. #other@Sickipedia

When I was 16 years old I told my mom I wanted to get a motorcycle. She said, "You are not buying a motorcycle. My brother, your uncle who you never met, died in a horrible motorcycle accident. You can have his bike." #other@Sickipedia

I was told to describe myself I one word in a job interview... I said, "bad at following simple instructions." #other@Sickipedia

A man walks onto the campus of Yale University. He walks up to a student and asks "Where's the bathroom at?" The student responds haughtily, "Here at Yale, we're taught not to end a sentence with a preposition." The man realizing his terrible unforgivable mistake corrects himself, "Where's the bathroom at asshole?" #other@Sickipedia

Two very old ladies are driving along and one says to the other, "Did you just run a stop sign"? She replied, "Oh Shit! Am I driving"? #other@Sickipedia

I got rejected on my very first blind date and I don't understand why. My date asked me if I had any pets and I said that I had a goldfish. Any hobbies? I said yes,he likes swimming. #other@Sickipedia

I asked my wife if sex is a chore to her. "Not really," she replied. "Chores make me feel satisfied afterwards." #other@Sickipedia