Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9510 · 12/23/2024, 10:01 AM
The guy who picked on me all through high school and then became a millionaire just placed a delivery order at KFC.
Now I get the last laugh. I gave him original recipe and he ordered extra crispy. Checkmate John, you fucking loser
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9504 · 12/21/2024, 11:01 AM
My wife texted me this morning and said, “Your great”. I replied, “No, you’re great”. She’s been in a great mood ever since.
I should correct her grammar more often.
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9503 · 12/21/2024, 06:01 AM
I told my doctor "I broke my arm in two places"
Doctor says "You probably shouldn't go back to those places"
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9501 · 12/20/2024, 11:01 AM
Over 20% of automobile accidents in Northern Ontario are caused by moose.
I say don’t let them drive.
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9495 · 12/18/2024, 10:01 AM
I found a book called 'How to solve 50% of your problems'.
So I bought 2 of them.
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9491 · 12/17/2024, 07:01 AM
The coffee shop had a sign that said "No WiFi, pretend it's 1973!"
So, I paid 10¢ for my coffee and lit a cigarette.
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9489 · 12/16/2024, 12:01 PM
What 11-letter English word is always pronounced incorrectly?
Incorrectly.
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9479 · 12/13/2024, 06:01 AM
When I was 16 years old I told my mom I wanted to get a motorcycle.
She said, "You are not buying a motorcycle. My brother, your uncle who you never met, died in a horrible motorcycle accident.
You can have his bike."
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9478 · 12/12/2024, 03:01 PM
I was told to describe myself I one word in a job interview...
I said, "bad at following simple instructions."
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9476 · 12/12/2024, 06:01 AM
A man walks onto the campus of Yale University. He walks up to a student and asks "Where's the bathroom at?"
The student responds haughtily, "Here at Yale, we're taught not to end a sentence with a preposition."
The man realizing his terrible unforgivable mistake corrects himself, "Where's the bathroom at asshole?"
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9475 · 12/11/2024, 03:01 PM
Two very old ladies are driving along and one says to the other, "Did you just run a stop sign"?
She replied, "Oh Shit! Am I driving"?
#other@Sickipedia
Sickipedia@sickipedia · Post #9465 · 12/08/2024, 11:01 AM
I got rejected on my very first blind date and I don't understand why.
My date asked me if I had any pets and I said that I had a goldfish. Any hobbies? I said yes,he likes swimming.
#other@Sickipedia