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An aspiring young lawyer was sitting in her office late one night, when Satan appeared before her. The Devil told the lawyer "I have a proposition for you… "You can win every case you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your your husband’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and the souls of all your friends and law partners." The lawyer ponders this for a moment, then finally asks: "So, what’s the catch?" #other@Sickipedia

A woman visits the Noah's Ark Museum Once inside, she is fascinated by the one exhibit entitled "The Lion lays down with the Lamb". It is a zoo like enclosure with a lion and a lamb living in it. The woman asks the tour guide, "So I guess this shows how the Lord made predators and prey coexist on the Ark." The guide answers, "Exactly, just like it is happening in this exhibit" "Do they ever fight?", she asks. "Occasionally" "What do you then?" "We get another lamb" #other@Sickipedia

A million dollars won't make you any happier I have $100 million now but I was just as happy when I had $99 million. #other@Sickipedia

My grandmother said I inherited my grandfather’s lovely big brown eyes. It made me cry … … because what I really wanted was his money. #other@Sickipedia

A very frugal couple always used to brag to each other how much money they could save. One day the husband arrived home from work and said, "Today I saved $1.50. I ran behind the bus rather than riding it." The wife responded, "IDIOT! Had you run behind a cab, you could have saved $15.00!" #other@Sickipedia

Man 1: what's the diffrence between toilet paper and drapes? Man 2: Well drapes are thicker Man 1: So it was you #other@Sickipedia

Leonardo DiCaprio has removed all his movies from Netflix. Netflix turned 27 this year. #other@Sickipedia

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see. #other@Sickipedia

If I ever hit the lottery, I guarantee everyone around me will be rich. I'll be moving to Beverly Hills. #other@Sickipedia

A man went to the movies and was surprised to find a woman with a big collie sitting in front of him. A man went to the movies and was surprised to find a woman with a big collie sitting in front of him. Even more amazing was the fact that the dog always laughed in the right places through the comedy. "Excuse me," the man said to the woman, "but I think it's astounding that your dog enjoys the movie so much." "I am surprised myself, " she replied. "He hated the book." #other@Sickipedia

A father and son are out in a field and the father says "Son everything you see before you will be yours when I die" The son replies: but father I'm blind, I can't see anything? The father says: yes and I'm poor #other@Sickipedia

My therapist just told me: From now on, please make an effort to forget all the people who have hurt you. I replied: I will. Then she told me: "Today's appointment is 500 dollars." I asked her: "Do i know you?" #other@Sickipedia