Find similar content

If men call short women "petite", what do women call short men? "Friends" #other @Sickipedia

A very shy person wanted to learn how to approach a girl. So he went to watch a video on how to overcome shyness and talk to girls. In the video, the coach made a demo where he approched a girl and immediately asked her to guess a number from 1 to 9. The girl said 4, so the coach smiled and replied that the number she picked was the right one and that he can give her a kiss as a gift. So the shy person went to apply what he learned, he approached a girl asked her to guess a number and when she answered 5 he was very disappointed. #other @Sickipedia

I hate it when people show me pictures of their kids. I'm sorry. They're missing, now move on. #other @Sickipedia

All my friends tell me I'm a pussy magnet. Unfortunately I'm the wrong polarity. #other @Sickipedia

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister are playing poker when the cops raid the game. The lead officer questions the priest, “Father Murphy, were you gambling? Father Murphy silently asks God to forgive him for what he is about to say. “No, Officer. I was not gambling.” The cop turns to the minister, “Pastor Johnson, were you gambling?” Pastor Johnson also appeals to Heaven. “No, Officer. I was not gambling.” The cop finally turns to the rabbi. “Rabbi Goldstein, were you gambling?” “Gambling?” he asks, glancing at the priest and the minister. “With who?” #other @Sickipedia

Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. #other @Sickipedia

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One! Because they are very effective and don't have a sense of humor!" #other @Sickipedia

The phone rings at 1 a.m. The husband picks it up and yells "how the hell do I know? I'm not a weatherman" and slams down the phone. "Who was that?" the wife says. The husband replies "some jerk who wants to know if the coast is clear." #other @Sickipedia

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along. #other @Sickipedia

René Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not," and promptly disappears. #other @Sickipedia

Jimmy's mom visits his school one day. She meets Jimmy's teacher, and the teacher says he is the dumbest kid in the school. He scores the lowest in the class and is not interested in anything. His mother was so disappointed that she took Jimmy out of the school. 25 years later the teacher got very sick, and needed to be operated. She had a low chance of surviving the operation, but miraculously she survived, because of the doctors skills. Wanting to thank the doctor she asked to meet him The doctor came to see her and smiled. The teacher started to say something, but suddenly gasped, turned blue raised her hands wanting to tell him something and died. The doctor was shocked, still trying to understand what happened when he saw our olf friend Jimmy, who was now a cleaner at the hospital take out the plug for the oxygen machine and put his phone for charging. Don't tell me you thought that Jimmy had become a Doctor. #other @Sickipedia

A woman walks up to a bus stop to wait for a bus. The only other person waiting there is a guy wearing a ballerina outfit, full clown makeup and has an orange traffic cone on his head. The woman tries to keep quiet but after a few minutes she can’t resist and asks the guy, “Hey, um…what’s with the outfit?” “What do you mean?” he responds. “Well, you’re wearing a tutu, clown makeup and you have a traffic cone on your head,” she says. “Yeah,” he says casually. “It’s Wednesday. I always wear my ballerina outfit with my clown makeup and cone hat on Wednesdays.” She replies, “It’s actually Tuesday today.” “It’s Tuesday?!” the guy says. “Oh man…I must look like a fucking idiot.” #other @Sickipedia